Decision. I wanna Make on My Own.!

At this point of life, its harder to make a decision. Own decision.!

So many reasons holding me back. So much to think about. So much things to consider.
I know that I have not been the child you always wanted, Mother and Dear Family. And have not lived up-to your expectations. But if you may understand, I did try my best. It was the outcome I could squeezed out of me.

I understand that you don’t believe in social works. As you believe, you have advised me to stop volunteering. But I couldn’t, and I just cant. That is where my passion lies. That is what I wanna do. That is what brings me happiness.

Its known, the income would be higher once I am done. But could that be something I would earn with happiness? Would I be fulfilling my responsibilities the way it had to.? Yes, it was totally my decision to start with nursing. I thought I could start liking it and would eventually love the career. But since I have completed one semester so far, I am sure and I can tell, nursing is not what I wanna do. Health section is not where I wanna put myself into. Not just because I don’t want to. Also because I cannot let myself to do something which does not free me time to do the work that I love to do. The options I have for to choose where to work after graduation is very less. Career options are very few. Scope of work that I could do is very narrow. Also I don’t want to end up being a heartless care giver like the rest of all who are already in the field.

At some point of this life, I do look forward to start my own business. My own company and to hire staffs who would work for me. So why not, I start with Marketing and Management? I know I could do. Because I have interest in doing it. It would give a lot of options of where to work, which area to put myself into. Career options would be countless.

As you may believe, I have put you through a lot of troubles, made you face lot of disappointments. Made you spend worthlessly. And as you could never stop reminding me how much of a bad kid I am, I would never, never want you to spend more on my studies. if I could I would love to live on my own. But because..

I am waiting, and as soon as it could be confirmed, I will quit doing what I dont want to do and will start with something my heart desires. It may not be what you like or you want but it sure be what I would want for myself. As it is my life, I wanna make it the best I could afford to.

You all might think I am not being very stable and sticking to one thing. That is because, yeah, I am experiencing. I am searching for what suits me better and to end up with the best that fits me.

Ps. I love you much. But its a decision I wanna make on my own.