Vacation at Dhigurah

Fishing Trip!

On May 23rd, some of my friends and I went to Dhigurah for a vacation. After a two hours of travelling on a speedboat we landed in Maamigili and it took another 45 minutes to reach Dhigurah by a dhoani.

We were all welcomed by the people of the hotel with tasty drinks and then were escorted to the rooms. We kept all our bags and headed out to see the island and we found it amazing. That was a beautiful island. Beautiful sandy beach all around with such a beautiful turquoise lagoon surrounding it.

We went out for swimming later that night and it was heavenly. Moon light shining behind from the palm trees gave a romantic touch to the scene. That was one good swimming time after I had after a very long time.

On the next days that followed we went out night fishing and luckily were able to catch about 6 or so fishes. And those were barbecued for the beach barbecue that was planned for later that night. We sat on the beach chit chatting under the moon light, enjoying the cool breeze, listening to the music of waves. We were sharing stories while our eyes caught the lights of shooting stars, stars that shined brighter than diamonds.

The last day we spent on the beach, swimming and enjoying the beauty of it. Pausing and snapping pictures every now and then. Which later change into a survival experience. It was fun and memorable.

In the morning of 26th we boarded on a ferry to Male’ and we were back in Male’ after a 7 hour ride.

It was one memorable trip. A trip that is and will always be special and unforgettable.

I miss all of my friends who went with me and specially, YOU. ❤

My Very Better Half :D

All the sadness, troubles and all problems vanishes into thin air, when you actually get a reason to be happy and smile. You actually would try to recall those horrible times but the happiness takes it over. And that happiness becomes the reason getting stronger and move on with life. Easily getting out of all the obstacles that comes in your way. It’s true that there is a silver lining in every dark cloud, and that anything and everything that happens, happens for a reason. It might take days, weeks, months or even years to understand the reason why something so bad happened to you. But when you do, you would be much happier about having to get into trouble than wishing it never happened. Troubles are troubles. It makes life so hard. Unbearable too. But it always follow you. Not because thats what you deserve. But because experiencing the troubles can only make you stronger. Much better person in the days and years to come. It makes you a person who could get through any storm that hits.

More than Happy to Have YOU!!❤

You know You are Happy!!

You know, you are happy.

You are walking on the road and suddenly you start smiling, and then it changes to a laugh. You try to stop before someone calls you a fool. But then you cant. you just keep on smiling and laughing. 

You try to figure out the reason for you smiling like a fool in the middle of the road. And then that one person hits your mind. That very person who is on your mind all the time. Day and Night. The person who makes you feel special. The person who makes you laugh like an idiot. 

Knowing that you are there, to make me smile-Makes me Happy!! 😀

My Happiness month: March!

Well, after a long while, am back again blogging about how the month of March 2013 went by for Me.

With all exams on every Thursday of every week made my head burst. Learning and by-heart-ing all the systems of the human body just drove me crazy. But with all the effort I put in, of all the exams I found only one exam which I could say I did Ok. However these exams did make me learn some new stuffs about human body, which is sort of good and also bad.

With all the stress of the exams there was this other pressure on me and my class mates. The lecturers found us being *bad Students* of FHS.  So I had to confront some of my lecturers and also had to write them a letter saying that they should improve certain things from their side, if they hope students also to change. And again I love the fact that all my classmate’s work together to get through all the obstacles that we face.

Since 16^th march was two of my classmate’s birthday we had fun celebrating as well. I was the event planner and so what I did was I messed up the plan.Yeah! That was what the brave me had to do. I accidentally sent the text which explained whole of the plan to one of the birthday girl. So yeah, I had to think of another way. With the idea from Ajudha, I planned the actual surprise for 17^th of March. Also since my friends expected something to happen on 16^th, I bought a stupid cake from a shop and celebrated it with the birthday girls. And the next day, somehow I managed to get every one of my class into one room with the help of faru. Salma and I went to buy a cake and also a cup cake. I showed up in to the classroom with the cupcake having a lit candle on top.  Shoora and Saara were surprised and later salma and mary showed up with the actual cake, which was more surprising for them. As planned we managed give them a surprise. It was a good day.

20^th March, was one hell of a day. I was so happy and I still am. Wanna know the story? I am going to turkey!! I got selected for the Global Power Shift training by 350.org in Istanbul this June. Yeah. Well. I cannot stop smiling. I am so looking forward to go to Istanbul.

With the happiness, also had to go through a bit of a rough time with a friend. It was sad but to be honest I would never want a person so wicked and evil to be in my life. Not ever.! I felt really bad about it also wanted to do something back to the person, but then again I found no reason to fall to a position someone so cheap  already have fallen in to. I would rather keep my hands clean and be the person everybody else always appreciated.

Something more also started to happen during the last few days of the month. A feeling so good which keeps me happy, even today. I don’t have a clue but wherever it is going I hope it is heading in the right direction. I have got a moment of happiness and I have a reason to be happy, so that’s all I care. I’m gonna live in this moment of happiness. I’m gonna be happy and a lot happier in the days to come.

Not to mention, but I am also having a good time with my family, especially with mom. Couldn’t do much for my younger brothers birthday but I am sure my brother enjoyed and is happy with what I did. It seems like I am falling into a much deeper love for my family.  I love ‘em all.

March! Indeed was a good month. In fact it brought me a lot of happiness.

I love my family and the feeling of having you around.

Family it Is.

I thought I will be just ok. That I would enjoy living alone and not having ‘anybody’ living around with me. But now that the day is coming closer, the fear inside me is also growing deeper. The fear of living alone and not having ‘anybody’ around.

Keep It Together by Madonna, Dedicating to My Family.

“Keep, keep it together
Keep people together forever and ever

I got brothers, I got some sisters too
Stuck in the middle tell you what I’m gonna do
Gonna get out of here, I’m gonna leave this place
So I can forget every single hungry face
I’m tired of sharing all the hand me downs
To get attention I must always be the clown
I wanna be different, I wanna be on my own
But Daddy said listen, you will always have a home

[Chorus:]

Keep it together in the family
They’re a reminder of your history
Brothers and sisters they hold the key
To your heart and your soul
Don’t forget that your family is gold

I hit the big time but I still get the blues
Everyone’s a stranger, city life can get to you
People can be so cold, never want to turn your back
Just givin’ to get something
Always wanting something back
When I get lonely and I need to be
Loved for who I am, not what they want to see
Brothers and sisters, they’ve always been there for me
We have a connection, home is where the heart should be

[chorus]

When I look back on all the misery
And all the heartache that they brought to me
I wouldn’t change it for another chance
‘Cause blood is thicker than any other circumstance

When I get lonely and I need to be
Loved for who I am, not what they want to see
Brothers and sisters, they’ve always been there for me
We have a connection, home is where the heart should be

[chorus]

Keep, keep it together
Keep people together forever and ever

I do Love you all and I always Will.

Welcome Night 2013 @ Faculty of Health Sciences

This is what my feet looked like after every practice.	Us. Practicing.	Still On!
Us. Dancing.	Well Yeah! That’s Me Dancing.	Mary and Myself at the Event.
Well, last week was one hectic period. But it was all worth working so hard. On February 7th night, my faculty’s welcome night event was hosted. Just before 5 days to 7th February my classmates and I decided to perform and all we could think of and agree upon was to dance. So that very day song selection was done and we got a dance teacher as well. With the dance teacher, next day we started practicing and almost were done with one song at the time practice session ended. (Hot news of the college for the week was also from us and about us. Hear it out.! So to practice the dance we decided to ditch one lecture period and our lecturer got upset and we all had to write a statement and submit explaining the reason. Funny part was, even though everyone was asked to write a statement on their own, everyone quoted the same reason with just changing the name and signature. Well it was disappointing for the lecturer, but we as one did it, ‘cause We are One). Anyway continuing with the story, practice was to begin next day too but due to some reasons with the one who taught us the dance, we couldn’t do so. And as to decide whether to perform or not, a meeting was held at 7 pm that day. In that meeting all decided to pull it off and so early morning of the day followed was spent to decide new songs and also dancing steps. In the afternoon of February 6th steps were all finalized and practice was continued till 9 pm. And then on the seventh February final rehearsal was done and we were ready to perform. Everyone wearing black with silver/gold we went up on stage and we rocked it all. (With the crappy sound system.) However, we did a good job out there and I am very proud of my classmates. Ps. I love them for not breaking away and for sticking together always.

Cannot. But Sorry!

Its 12:21 am right now. I am finding myself to be lost somewhere. Thinking about what happened and why?

It was about 8years back. I wasn’t in love. But sure I was in a relation. It was strange back then. No calls, no talking’s, no seeing, no meetings. For the name sake it was? I wonder. I was too shy too.

6 years back from now, things changed. A new story started in-between somewhere, somehow. Changed a lot of things. So much happened. Most of it was bad. That guilt is still buried inside me. But with all those regrets I still do believe in the love I got. It was true, pure and honest. Probably ‘the love’ I’ve always wanted. However I couldn’t accept the happiness of being loved truly. That guilt of hurting some of very close people made me drag myself out. And I am glad I did.

And again 5years back from now, I continued with resuming with the relation which did not end earlier. It was so perfect. Things were going so smooth that I actually dreamed of living a married life with that love. So caring, honest, faithful and deep love it was. But it couldn’t last long. Guilt inside me cut it off. It was painful. It was hurting. But I couldn’t look back and tried moving on. And I did.

But it was 3years back from now, fate brought me back to where I left. I did not feel anything less of that love, but this time it was very different. It wasn’t just love, there was more to it. However it did not happen to work again and it ended.

He still loves me. With that love I’ve always wanted. He still wants me. But I couldn’t just make it to love him back with love so pure and faithful. I tried and tried but I failed. And now he’s broken, in a lot of pain, lost the meaning of life and he is lost into the world.

It does hurt to see him suffer, but I couldn’t make myself to be of help.
He could have been the guy to treat me like a princess. He would have loved me forever without letting it fade. He would have kept me in his arms forever, safe and happy.
But..

And now, 8 years after, just like the olden days, I don’t hear from him or texts and neither do I see him often.

But today I saw him. Saw him walking on the other side of the same road I was walking on. He was paler, sad and alone.

And I couldn’t help but wonder why? And how could I?

Look Me in the Eye!!

Really alone and very lonely. So much happened yet nothing have happened, Really. Everything seems so wrong. Every step leads to a terrible disaster. Every move proves you wrong. Every feeling takes you to a place very dark. Before you can smile the happiness, trouble haunts it over.

People may judge you for what you have done and for what you are doing. Maybe for who you are.
Yes! You might be doing wrongs, you might be in deep troubles ’cause of the wrongs. But its also true that whatever the wrongs that you are in, you are in it not because you like it or you wanted it.

Sometimes, loneliness kills you. Leaves you at a state where you feel the urge to do whatever it takes to feel less of it. To get the attention, love and care you never have gotten. To belong to a life where you can be happy and smile with the person who would never judge you for being who you are.

Never judge a person with what he/she have done with you. Cause you would never be able to put yourself in his/her shoe. You could never feel or understand what the other person is struggling through.

You might see me a little too dressed up with a gleaming smile over my make up. Its just what I want you to see. There are a lot of stories behind that foundation I wear. Look me in the Eye.!

Decision. I wanna Make on My Own.!

At this point of life, its harder to make a decision. Own decision.!

So many reasons holding me back. So much to think about. So much things to consider.
I know that I have not been the child you always wanted, Mother and Dear Family. And have not lived up-to your expectations. But if you may understand, I did try my best. It was the outcome I could squeezed out of me.

I understand that you don’t believe in social works. As you believe, you have advised me to stop volunteering. But I couldn’t, and I just cant. That is where my passion lies. That is what I wanna do. That is what brings me happiness.

Its known, the income would be higher once I am done. But could that be something I would earn with happiness? Would I be fulfilling my responsibilities the way it had to.? Yes, it was totally my decision to start with nursing. I thought I could start liking it and would eventually love the career. But since I have completed one semester so far, I am sure and I can tell, nursing is not what I wanna do. Health section is not where I wanna put myself into. Not just because I don’t want to. Also because I cannot let myself to do something which does not free me time to do the work that I love to do. The options I have for to choose where to work after graduation is very less. Career options are very few. Scope of work that I could do is very narrow. Also I don’t want to end up being a heartless care giver like the rest of all who are already in the field.

At some point of this life, I do look forward to start my own business. My own company and to hire staffs who would work for me. So why not, I start with Marketing and Management? I know I could do. Because I have interest in doing it. It would give a lot of options of where to work, which area to put myself into. Career options would be countless.

As you may believe, I have put you through a lot of troubles, made you face lot of disappointments. Made you spend worthlessly. And as you could never stop reminding me how much of a bad kid I am, I would never, never want you to spend more on my studies. if I could I would love to live on my own. But because..

I am waiting, and as soon as it could be confirmed, I will quit doing what I dont want to do and will start with something my heart desires. It may not be what you like or you want but it sure be what I would want for myself. As it is my life, I wanna make it the best I could afford to.

You all might think I am not being very stable and sticking to one thing. That is because, yeah, I am experiencing. I am searching for what suits me better and to end up with the best that fits me.

Ps. I love you much. But its a decision I wanna make on my own.

2012. A Year Ended so Soon.!

A new year 2013 has started and it feels like I’ve skipped one whole year. It almost feels like yesterday, I was travelling around Maldives. From the very north to south of it. But then again, it was 2011. Looking back at the year (Skipped 2012) it seems like I have not done much or achieved any. However, let’s just start from the very beginning.

After celebrating the New Year 2012 at Gn. Fuvahmulah with Nattu (back then we were NOT Friends), spent couple of months travelling to Ga., G.Dh. and also Lhaviyani Atoll. During which I fell in love with this guy. Though it lasted just a month I spent almost half a year to get back to being ok and move on. That one month with him must’ve been this years happiest days for me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it work.

Third month, March, was a really hard month to struggle through. With all the pain and heartache of loosing the ‘love’ I was completely lost. I was just barely surviving. But with the courage and support given by friends (Shaffu, Naanu and especially Shiba) I got myself back into being myself. Hurried to get myself employed somewhere. Luck was with me during those days, April 1st was the day I started working at Island Aviation services pvt.ltd. as the Assistant Admin Officer.

Spending most part of the day from morning 0700hrs to 1700hrs at office helped me to forget what I had to forget. It wasn’t easy but I’m glad that I made it. However, I couldn’t let myself work at office for very long. Not just a day more than a month and I resigned from the job. I did not like the work that I had to do there neither did I like having to work with people who were not from my generation. And by the time I resigned I was almost selected for the customer service job at GMR International Airport. But due to some internal problems in the company they couldn’t hire any employee at that time. So again I was jobless and had nothing to do. From the responses and reaction I got from my family members I can tell, they were not very happy with the decision I made on my own.

Also during these I was also working with DYM. And I am proud to be called as one the co-founders of DYM. Flash freezing, flash mobbing, making our own Dhivehi scrabble board and celebrating days like environment day, climate impacts day 2012 are some of the works that DYM have done so far. Also the main event Katti Hivvaru Fest was the biggest achievement DYM have gotten so far.

Well, month of May was rather a very stressful month. Resigning from job and staying home was not something anybody liked. So I hurried to get myself into studies and plan something for my future. With that thought on, I applied for Bachelor of Nursing course at Maldives National University. And with the positive reply I got I joined MNU during the month of June. I’m not doing nursing because I want to. It’s seems like I have no option but to do it. I don’t really like the lecturers in my faculty. Most importantly, I am not at all ready to go to IGMH for my next clinicals. First clinical experience was so bad that I don’t want to see any of the sisters I worked with during that time.

During the month of August I got the news of being selected for the South Asia training for trainers workshop which was carried out in Dhaka, Bangladesh from 24th to 29th September 2012. People from everywhere around south asia. Everyone was so alike, so good, caring and loving. Especially Ayesha and Chaitanya from 350.org India, my beautiful roommate Jannet and the cutest Anil from Nepal are people who would forever be in my life. Memories of them will forever be engraved in my heart.

Month of October was a very disappointing month. I declined the chance I got to go for the Cop18 summit in Doha, Qatar, only because I was so much looking forward to be part of the Youth Leadership programme 2012. But sadly, I couldn’t be part of it. Also had a hard time with the family members for no actual reason. But at the end I realized that I was being blamed for not being good enough. Well I would wish if I could be any better. However getting the chance to go to L.Gan for LTLT training by Democracy House was also a proud Achievement.

November month also went with the same drama with the family. And later, one by one, all my close friends started travelling everywhere around the world. Some for trainings and some for holidays. Till mid December I felt so lonely and miserable. But my very best friend, shiba’s marriage brought so much happiness into my life. I wish her all the happiness and love. And that happiness turned. I met this new guy. He was so gentle, caring, loving and all different kind of sweetness. But it also lasted for just two weeks and it was all gone. I did hope for something more to happen but maybe, luck was not with me.

However, year 2012 ended with me having the loveliest people with me. Nawaf, shaa, Mua, Iyya, Nattu (and we are Bestest friends now), Shaam, shaha , Mary and Hood. You guys are definitely my happiness. I don’t know where I might be right now if I did not have you guys with me then, and all time.

Anyhow, year 2012 has passed and 2013 is on its way filling up the pages of it. I don’t know how it might end but I definitely hope for a better ending.

Just a small recap of the year 2012.